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  • Writer's pictureChirag Rathod

Wedding Guru: Build a bond with your Mother-in-Law before you start planning your wedding

Updated: Feb 9, 2023

As an award winning wedding planner, I like to get to know my clients, and their family dynamics too. Often I have the bride and groom share some deep secrets with me. One of my favourite questions that brides often ask me is how to build a bond with their mother-in-law?

I’m not a relationship expert, but feel that I know enough based on life experiences and also through tried and tested ways it has worked for my couples.

Here are some top tips for building a bond with your mother-in-law.

1. Maybe try cooking together.

If the heart of the home is the kitchen, maybe that’s a great start? If your chapati’s turn out like the map of India, maybe ask her the best way to assist you in getting them perfectly round. Maybe she will share some top secrets with you?

2. Ask her about her life

This may seem simple, but it’s so important. After all, you will be marrying into HIS family. Not every bride will have an interest in her partner’s family, but it’s important to show some interest. A lot of the time, we only see our partner’s family as extensions of our partner, and we ignore the fact that they have their own lives, histories, and passions. So, try asking your mother-in-law more about herself. Maybe ask her about where she was born, where her parents lived, how old was she when she got married and see if you can get your mother-in-law to open up about herself…

3. Go to a Movie or Play Together

If you really have trouble having a bonding period with your mother-in-law, plays or movies can be a lifesaver. Maybe a good Bollywood movie is the secret? (and make sure to buy the popcorn!) It’s a good way of spending time in the same space and talking very little, but then having something to talk about afterwards.

4. Plan a Spa Day

If your mother-in-law likes to be pampered, how about a spa day? It’s a great way for bonding that doesn’t have to involve a lot of emotional sharing. Everyone feels better when they’re more relaxed, so you may find the conversation flows easier than you think.

5. Talk About Your Partner’s Childhood

There can often be a weird, underlying sense of competition or some kind or tension between you and your partner’s mother. Acknowledge the fact that your mother-in-law has been there since the beginning, by asking about your partner’s childhood, looking at old photos, and maybe even swapping embarrassing stories about your partner. It’s a good way to show that you understand how important their relationship and history is, which can go a long way.

Like I said at the start, I am not an expert relationship advisor, but often in my career as a Luxury Wedding Planner, I get asked all sorts of questions that often aren’t about the wedding itself, but about other parts of relationship building (hence the advice).

If you enjoyed the read, and need an expert wedding planner, or know someone that does, put us to the test.

Priti Raichura, Wedding Guru

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